This blog is going to be for my personal use...so my words are my own...if you get offended you dont have to look...just avoid.
My name is Echo...at least that is the name I go by...I am a mother...anxiety ridden...excersize excuses...I am blunt..I am sarcastic..I am a artist...and a lesbian.
Lets talk a little about my life...I was married to my high school sweetheart...until he repeatedly cheated on me and hit me....old news..hes a great guy but just not with me...he gave me two great children and has grown up a lot. Has a family of his own....
I struggled a lot with open relationships...I'm an attention whore...I got with a best friend...but quickly realized I was changing...
I always have identified as bisexual and tended to hate men...a bit biased all open was lesbian porno and I was a sexual being. It happens most people said I was angry ...I was confused by a label...which turned into me dating my first real girlfriend...not just the makeout kind..or just the one night stand...god I was in love...and found myself as a lesbian...which I was in total denial...I feel as though I would let myself down...after 3 years I cried and cried and started telling people that I was a lesbian....my girlfriend struggled with depression and anxiety....off and on medicine....she made...me ashamed of being married...unless she was medicated...she was intolerable with her anger...every morning....I stood by her lies, her hatred, and her mental abuse...she was my joker no matter how much she cheated on me....stupid...
I started hanging out with her friend....she basically lived with us...I trusted her...but trust goes out the window...when,you get drunk,and they make out with you...then it just was a confusing world...she filled my head with why was I with my girlfriend...and kept trying to make out with me or turn me on....
I came out and told my girlfriend...she left me.....for this girl...karma aye? I spent months bawling and struggling with my depression. I wouldnt eat...I failed outta school on my last semester...I acquired 3 ulcers....and the doctor..said to me...you need to eat or you will die....
So I started to see life as a brand new world...this girl never ever thought about my feelings when my anxiety crashed or my depression. Right before my ex had left we started the journey of transgender male with him....I was so supportive...I made sure all the appointments...were done...counseling ...even learned how to do shots...but I am a lesbian...so I struggled with .....the whole concept...I like girls...so it only added to my confusing world......
Then...it ...happened...about 6 weeks after my ex left....after watching her abandon my kids....her sister....I was literally in the basement of he'll...then...she came around...I will call her Robin (as in Batman)
...she held me hand when I had cut my leg so bad...it was shameful...but her eyes gave me hope....
I got real drunk and realized that....I wanted this girl to be mine...this girl who dropped everything to be with me...she wasnt going to spemd the night that night...but I rubbed her beautiful soft black hair...for hours....
That was the first night that we spent together....my eyes have always been terrible outers....look in them...see my soul...she knew I was falling and nothing was stopping me. My car went down...spent the night at my friends an hour away from her...and she came and got me....we went out for my best friends drinks for her wedding....and my friend got sick after a while leaving me and Robin alone...so
We had an adult conversation...she being my ex best friend(that my ex repeatedly accused me of cheating with and abandoned her because she was making sure I was okay) we said it was going to be one he'll of a storm if we got together...that was the first time we kissed...because we knew we got this....
I left for Elyria for town...and she made me feel so.......so goddang incredible...all night on Skype...I fell asleep and woke up to her light snoring....god...so perfect...
When my ex found out she harassed me and attacked me...how did she ever have a say...she quit t and she was with the girl I cheated with...robin has been nothing but a lovely strong girlfriend....
My family had some struggles at the same time as all of this...this girl...this girl told me it is okay to cry...that it is okay to be depressed...but its going to be a new day...
This girl...met my parents...they love her...she kept me sane...my kids adore her...and she is so gorgeous...that my heart stops every time she looks at me with those eyes....
I was a Phoneix reborned...I am 28 and feel like my whole world has shifted...and life is looking up...yes we have struggles...2 seperate households...family...kids...and 30 minutes away...but needy as hell to be there for every single memory ...
She has anxiety but so do I and its okay. Its okay to have it affect you if someone is willingly to hold your hand through it...the other night we colored owls...because we both like art...so when I want to draw shr understands...she understand when I want to play a game and she watches...
2 weeks ago...she bought me a ring...I never believed in love at first sight...but 7 years ive known this girl...it doesnt matter the time we havr been together....we have our wedding for next year in October...and I am still just gushing for every inch of her...she just....god...words...are hard...because I love her messiness, I love her ocd, and I love the tone she gets when she wants my attention...
This blog with me my outlook for my new life...working out, getting wedding ready, convincing households....its going to be a whirlwind
